The Fractured Ties of Modern Family
In Indian society, family has always been the foundation of life. The saying "ghar kee chaar deevaaron mein hee khushiyaan hotee hain"(Happiness resides within the four walls of the home) reflects the deep-rooted belief that family is where everything begins—love, warmth, and unity. In the older generations, families were not just a group of people; they were a support system, a safety net where every member cared for the other. The emphasis was on togetherness, shared responsibilities, and mutual respect. The elders were seen as the pillars of wisdom, and the younger generation was taught to respect them unconditionally with the belief that "bade bujurgon ka aasheervaad sada saath rahata hai" (The blessings of elders always stay with you).
However, today’s family dynamics in India have changed drastically, and not always for the better. The traditional "maangane se bhee kuchh nahin milata, par dene se sab mil jaata hai" (You don’t get anything by asking, but giving everything gets you everything) mentality seems to be fading, replaced by selfishness and competition. Sibling rivalry has become more common, with fights over property, status, and even love. The warmth that once existed between siblings has been replaced by jealousy and resentment. Families have become more about individual goals and achievements, where mutual support is hard to find.
Technology has played a huge role in this shift. The same devices that were supposed to connect us are now the reason for emotional detachment. "aajakal log phon pe baat karate hain, par dil se nahin" (These days, people talk on the phone, but not from the heart). The constant distraction of social media and virtual lives means that family members no longer spend quality time together. Conversations have become shallow, and deeper emotional connections have been replaced by text messages or social media comments. People hide their true feelings, leading to a lack of understanding and growing emotional distance.
In some households, servants have become the backbone of the family. Ironically, while they are the ones who often manage the household chores, cooking, and even looking after children, they are treated as subordinates. Yet, without them, the household would fall apart. “jo ghar mein kaam karata hai, vahee ghar ka maalik hota hai” (The one who works in the house is the real master of the house) is a saying that reflects the importance of domestic workers. Despite their crucial role, they are often treated with indifference or disrespect. Sadly, their hard work and sacrifices often go unnoticed, while the family members who contribute less, emotionally or physically, receive more acknowledgment.
Furthermore, there’s a growing gap between the younger and older generations. The younger generation is constantly advised to"badon ka aadar karo" (Respect your elders), but this respect is not always reciprocated. Instead of encouragement and guidance, they are often met with taunts, unnecessary criticism, or constant comparisons to others. This creates a toxic environment where the younger ones feel undervalued and unheard. "badee baaten karane se badee pahachaan nahin milatee" (Talking big doesn’t make you big) is often used to shut down the younger generation’s opinions without listening to them. This leads to frustration and a sense of isolation, especially among teenagers who are battling their own mental health struggles.
Mental health is an issue that is rarely spoken about in many Indian families. The pressure to conform to societal expectations, especially in a culture that values academic and career success over emotional well-being, weighs heavily on young people. “shareer se jyaada man kee sehat jarooree hai” (The health of the mind is more important than the body’s) is a saying that is often forgotten. The lack of emotional support from family members can cause anxiety, depression, and stress to build up. In such an environment, it becomes difficult to open up or seek help. The fear of being judged or misunderstood prevents many from sharing their struggles.
The changing role of family in Indian society is a complex issue. While technology, societal pressures, and changing values have contributed to the breakdown of close family bonds, the core essence of family—support, understanding, and care—still remains. It’s time to revisit the values that once made family a place of comfort and security. “ghar vahee, jahaan dil ho”(Home is where the heart is) — it’s time we bring back the heart into our homes, where every member feels heard, valued, and loved. Respect, kindness, and emotional connection should no longer be reserved for servants or strangers but should be shared among family members, fostering an environment of understanding and mental well-being.
