Damn, math.

Taking the SAT for the first time was an unforgettable experience. I was very nervous and excited because I loved solving questions that I knew well, but I also hated every bit of the math function questions. On the test day, we had to arrive around 7:45 a.m. I arrived on time but a bit late because my mom had the idea to go to an unfamiliar temple to get blessings. This turned out to be a waste of time, as we had no clue where the temple was, making us 10 minutes late. This seemed like bad luck.

 When I entered, another unlucky thing happened. My Aadhaar card had my baby picture, which was unacceptable, so I had to get my passport copy, which took another five minutes. I think I was the second-to-last person to arrive. The room was cold and silent, except for the rustling of papers and the occasional cough. I found my seat and carefully laid out my pens, cap, and admission ticket—each item meticulously prepared. As I opened the test booklet, the weight of months of preparation settled in, yet a surprising calm washed over me.

 The English module 1 was great; I was confident I would do well. Module 2 was a bit more difficult, but I managed. Each module presented its own unique challenges; however, I tackled them with a focused mind. During the breaks, I had no conversations with anyone as I chose to remain silent. I decided to go to the washroom just to freshen up, and BOOM, I hurt my toe, which needed surgery. It hurt a lot, but I went back to the class, sat down, and was ready for the math section. The first module went fine; I expected it to be better. However, when the second one came, I realized how tough it was. Every question felt like a testament to my entire school math experience up to the 10th grade. I was very nervous, and my heart was beating fast. I was really confused by almost nine questions. All my confidence ended during module 2.

 When the final section ended, I felt a wave of relief and accomplishment, knowing I had given it my best effort. On the way back in the car, I was self-critical, thinking about how I get influenced by others and don't always do what I should. I was sad that the test didn't go well, but I realized how far I had come in the past five months. I had worked hard to stand up from a depressive phase, gained a lot of information about business economics, and completed various courses. I concluded that life is short, and whatever you do, appreciate yourself for the hard work you put in to reach a goal, regardless of whether you achieve it. And as my counselor remarked, “Nothing goes in vain. You learn something out of even not-so-productive things. Some goals are so worthy, it’s glorious even to fail. They are worthy because they enlighten you in some manner.”